Friday, July 22, 2011

Spouse

A young lady visited the matchmaker for marriage, and requested
'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.

' The matchmaker said, 'your requirements, please?'

Lady replied 'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, nice talking. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.'

The matchmaker listened carefully and replied, 'I understand you need television not spouse.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Its time to learn something abt Men

I think everyone might have read abt Mom's, Wife's and Girl's...
 
Its time to learn something abt Men...
 
Who is a boy / man ?
 
A boy/man  is one of the most beautiful creations of God.
 
He starts compromising at very tender age. He sacrifices his chocolates for his sister.
 
Later he sacrifices his love for just a smile on his parents face. He sacrifices his love for his wife and children by working late nights.
 
He builds their future by taking loans from banks and then repaying them for the life time. Thus he sacrifices full youth for his wife and children without any complain.
 
Believe me he struggles a lot but still has to hear the music (scolding) of Mother, wife and his boss. Yet every mother, wife and boss tries to have control over him.
  
Finally his life ends up by compromising for others happiness. He is that creation of God who no one can compete with.
 
Respect every boy/man in your life. You will never know what he has sacrificed for you.
 
Just extend your hand when he needs it and you shall receive twice fold love from him.

Enough Of Girls /women / Wife Emotional Messages Now… 
Boys also Have Emotions and respect it.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Top 22 things an Indian does after returning to India from "US".


22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.

19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep down the heart
multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee" several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

1.. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or "When I was in US..."

ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS??!!!(Give a Try)


1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)

2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)

3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)

4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

6.Can you cry under water? (let me try)

7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (i think they meant something else)

8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)

12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight i will stay and watch)

13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (wink wink)

14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

15.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)

16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )

17.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

18.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)

19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

20.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)

22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)

23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)

24. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars

Monday, July 4, 2011

What's so special about the 4th of July?


Many things have happened on the 4th of July

The 4th of July has been an important date for many centuries. Nowadays, it's associated with the United States of America and for some strange reason, they feel that everybody should celebrate that day as well. This is the same country that had a WORLD Series where only American teams took part! Being a non-American, I decided to see what else we can remember on the 4th of July.
If you're a Catholic, then you might want to commemorate the 4th July, as on this day in 371, Martin of Tours was consecrated into the church against his will. He went on to found the first ever monastery in France. He apparently performed many miracles and there are countless legends about him. The cape he gave to a poor person became the origin of the word "chaplain," referring to a military pastor.
Another one for the Catholics, the guy who was responsible for improving the quality of church music died on this day in 683. His name was Pope Saint Leo 11.
All these earlier dates are all for the Catholics. In 965, Pope BenedictV died in a prison after the emperor had him incarcerated as he fancied another Pope who would kowtow to his wishes and demands.
On this day in 1187, Saladin, leader of the United Muslim forces, completely annihilated the knights of the Third Crusade in Tiberius, Syria.
In 1546, the Pope declared war on the Lutherans.
In 1648, Antoine Daniel, a Jesuit priest who taught the Hurons many hymns in their own language, was martyred by the Iroquois. I wonder if that's where the idea for my all-time favourite movie, The Mission, came from.
On this day in 1885, Louis B. Mayer, the famous movie executive was born in Minsk, Russia.  I'm sure most people have heard of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM).  Some of his successes were Ben hur and Grand Hotel.  Apparently, he was a bit of a bastard but he had the ability to make a star.
380 People died of a blistering heat wave in the north eastern USA in 1911.
1918 and on this day Pauline Esther Friedman and her twin sister were born.  Both became famous columnists in their day, but Pauline was definitely the more famous of the two.  Her pen name was Ann Landers, but she was best known for her advice column called Dear Abby.
In 1927, the famous playwright, Neil Simon was born in The Bronx in New York.  The Odd Couple and The Goodbye Girl were two of my favourites from him.
Especially for Cris A, in 1946 the Philippines became a self-governing nation after 48 years of US rule.
1954 And the 14 years of ration books and rationing meat and bacon for the duration of the second world war and for some years after, ended on this day in Great Britain.
In 1968, a brave Alec Rose received a hero's welcome in Portsmouth, as he completed a 354 day solo round the world yacht trip without any corporate sponsorship.  He was knighted for his effort on the next day -5th July.  The Queen didn't waste much time!
In 1976, on the 4th July, Israeli commandos secretly flew thousands of kilometres to Uganda and heroically raided its airport at Entebbe, rescuing the almost 200 Israeli and Jewish passengers of Air France's infamous flight hijacked by Palestinian and German terrorists.  Unfortunately the only Israeli Defence Force casualty, was the operation's commander who was shot and killed at they entered the airport's terminal.
This sounds unbelievable but it's true.  In 1985 on this day, Ruth Lawrence became the youngest Brit at only age 13, to earn a first-class degree and the youngest known graduate of Oxford University.  Now my youngest should be that smart.  I can retire!
In 2003 we were shocked to hear that Barry White, famous singer who sang amongst others, You're the first, the last, my everything, died.
And finally we better not forget, it's also American Independence Day.
Note: Any more special ones please comment will add to this